Im sorry for neglecting the blog, for good whole month? There has been many things going on and I couldnt really find a time to sit down quietly and pen down my thoughts. A tough one month I would say. Now that I have packed my feelings and settled down, let me do some thoughts recalling.
It has been a crazy August month. The first time, I ran away from home and people to a place of unfamiliarity. I need to apologize that I made my family worried about me when things screwed up for me and I decided to run without their consent and any bit of understanding of the situation. Yet, they chose to understand and let me go (with the exception that no more next time). Of course, I didnt run far, I was only travelling up to KL for a few days, initially. But to end up staying there for a week because it was such impromptu that I did not buy the return coach ticket at the beginning, thinking that I might come back earlier than I thought if I get bored of KL. For this whole trip, I was truly thankful for my friends that were in KL with me because they watched over me and made sure I am safe all times. I was guilty much that they paid for most of my travel and food expenses. It was a week of nothing and I practically let myself off. Sleep Eat Drink was the routine everyday for a week. Of course I visited the Sunway Lagoon which was pretty fun since the last memory I had was when I was too young to even play any of the rides there. I got back a peaceful heart from this trip.
Sometime in mid Aug, I had family dinner at Bugis to pre-celebrate my mom bday as well. The Ma Mason at Bugis+ was seriously a no-go. The service was pretty bad and the food.. I shall not comment.
And I watched and worked for the Muaythai Competition for the 3rd time in 6 months. The first being at SMU, second at OCC and this was at SMU again. Something different out of my suppose to be normal life. And up till now I am still happy to be at onyx, though I grumble abit over the proper job that I should be finding. The people here are really nice and "gd healer" for broken hearts. LOL
Then the big change in my life. I am sorry if you think I am ridiculous on this (its just hair for godsake). TO ME IT IS A BIG CHANGE. so shut up if you are going to say some your-hair-will-grow-its-not-like-gone-forever that kind of thing. For don't know how many years, my hair has been long. like eventually longer than I expected it would be because I can never have very super long hair that I always dream to have. I have the tendency to go for haircut and even though is just trimming, usually is a good 1 to 2 inch off. So for years, I have hold on to my urge to trim too much and had grown my hair so long to make me realise that it was REALLY LONG. I shall post a few more photos of my long hair to remember that...
After the change in part of my life that has had been there for a good 3 years plus, I decided to do some changes. I have survived through my ever-heart-aching relationships, supposingly and assumingly getting stronger and able to face them bravely when the aftermath happen. I was surprised by my "healing power" as well, probably because we all grown up. To face and handle such emotional screw-ups. Of course I won't say I am pro in this because I submit to drinking and ignoring everything temporarily for a period of time as well which was uncalled for. SO since I had my heart prepared and handling the way i suppose is relatively peaceful for me, I decided then - might as well change a hairstyle. A change for a good cause - a new life again, a new me. Hence, I chop off my long long hair to.........
THIS!
Amazing me, right?! I thought so too. And right now I am beginning to love this short hair. It just feel refreshing and brand new. (maybe it was just my thinking) So, cutting short aint that bad afterall, of course my dream of having long hair still stays. I still feel long hair is more... princessy and romantic. HAHA. good for different hairstyling and look also. But nevertheless, I am still loving you, short hair me! So now I have settled with my emotions screwedupness (hopefully I am fully) , I guess there is no more drama-mama story for the moment and no more heartache and cries at night. Thanks to those people who cared and the usual ones who stand by me. I seriously couldn't do this without you guys.
We had gone a long way of 3 years plus and 5 years before everything started, as good friends. It has been pretty messy and trust me it still is now, that we had gone through so much and eventually still ended it with so much memories left behind. I dared not think deep on anything we had, afraid of bringing what pains me of my heart. I am glad still that I know you, and loved you deeply and still beyond imagination that we had been together which cannot be expected of. I have paragraphs and nights and days of thoughts and words to pen down, but I didn't know and probably won't want to - let's just keep everything to heart.
Somewhere deep down, I kept you and all the memories there. And maybe somewhere deep inside, I love you all along. And it is the somewhere that I don't wish to dig it up anymore.
Thank you for all that we had.
So, tomorrow I will be heading to BKK! with my favourite cousin this time! =) excited much as it is the first time I'm taking plane alone to meet her there! (ok maybe not so exciting to you) I didnt bring any camera with me, probably wont have time to take pictures since we will be crazily shopping. BUT I try to take some with my S3. I know, I suck to be a blogger that always say I want to pen my life down with pictures and words to tell the story. OH WELL =)
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